


maybe not

by imhoeforichinose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhoeforichinose/pseuds/imhoeforichinose
Summary: When she managed to drag him again in her arms, she didn't notice her own death flag. She's too caught up from pondering about his possible demise before her without noticing that her time is finally over.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	maybe not

**Author's Note:**

> i am sucker for angst so here it is :> btw this my very first time to post a fanfic or create a fanfic hehe sorry in advance bcoz of my grammatical errors since english wasn't my first language hehehehe ^_^v

The life she had are barely called living. Too much blood and corpses underneath her leather boots. There's no comfort zone nor safe haven in this time of war. It is a matter of survival, and sure enough, maybe tomorrow or sooner, she'll meet her tragic ending. Sometimes she felt numb. Sometimes she felt the agonizing dread crawling inside her veins when she saw a familiar streak of tresses at the mass grave. Awful. The smell of death is awful. She must be used to the defecating smell of corpses. But, she wasn't. An endless agony and pain was hidden under her cold expression she usually wore in the middle of the battle. She thought of someday death will never bother her senses but it seems like it wasn't happening. Not until she reach the lowest of the low. Hearing the word of hatred spew from his mouth made her think about death. 

Maybe, death smell something bad and she suddenly wants to claim it sooner. To make the smell of it linger on her. But, she didn't. Not now.

When their path crossed again, the image of him danced in her frantic gunmetal eyes. It felt like centuries had passed since the last time she saw him. Even the last memory they had before they part ways made her heart broke into smithereens, she still longed for him to come back. The sand squelched under her heels, and the sound of her comrade's pleading scream resonate on her ears. If there's any god or any entity could help them, she'll beg on her knees to make them listen to their plea of making him change his mind. She knew some of his purpose. But, she all knew what are his childhood nightmare, and they shared the same pain and loss in the young age. Seeing him again in his young body, her heart swell in nostalgia, and then, a sudden flash of his sweet innocent smile rolled in her mind.

Her eyes watered. There's a sudden rush of relief engulfing her restless body when she finally saw a glimpse of him. Yet, the pain was still present. It will be always present. Not until the war has ended. That's what she thought. No, it will never fade easily. Pain has become the basic foundation of her being a human. Because, she felt like she has the body of a human but a soul of a broken monster. 

In that moment, she only thought of him coming back to them, talking things out. But, she's a fool of trying to serenade someone who's always been determinated at everything he wanted. No one could stop him even her. 

So, with her remaining resolve, she wanted him to share the burden with her. They're sinners. They're an awful sinner in their own fashion. Whether his sin was more heavier than hers, she don't care. They're still the same sinner. They still had their hands soaked with crimson blood since they were young. They shared the same tragedy, losing everything in the young age. Innocence was stripped away from them forcefully by the fate they had. It seems like tragedy was their other name. 

When the moment she saw his dark and empty eyes, her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. This young boy.. It seems like the boy has the body of him but the soul was replaced by someone else. Or maybe, this was the real him. She don't know. She wanted to unravel him, to see the real him. But how could she? Even she begs for it. He's nowhere to be found. 

“The only way to stop me is by ending my life.”

It seems the stars had died in her sky. Her heart froze from its regular pace. The world has halted upon hearing the last diction from him. There's no room for any bargain.

Death was inevitable for him. He'll face death like it was his old friend. 

When they sent back to reality, her knees fall on the ground with a loud thud. Her shoulders sagged in pressure and pain. His ending was already written, and she can't do anything about it. Dread filled her gut until she's now gritting her teeth while squeezing her eyes shut. 

The sound of a heavy footsteps rang inside her head, reminding her the decision he had made to gain his freedom. The noise reminds her of everything they sacrificed in order to achieve something. To stop him from wrecking havoc, she needs to end him. They need to. Or else, a lot of innocent people will wilt under his deadly clutches.

It wasn't easy. Slicing him off from the monstrous figure, and for sure they'll demand for an answer from him. It was a hard task they need to fullfil. Surviving at this moment was very slim. It feels like they are already walking closer to their death bed. It drove her insane. Her heart was broken, same as her soul, and the only thing was keeping her remaining sanity is a small glitter of hope that he'll come back. 

There's no way they could heal if they come to an end. They are broken beyond repair. And, she wished that the time was different. She wished to change their fate, or maybe to live in another life. Because, this version of themselves was broken. She wished to return when they were young and free from everyone's responsibility. She missed the soulful glint of his forest green eyes. It was full of fire and passion. His striking green eyes held so much life and dream of coming out from the cage. 

But, fate have another plan for them. For him. In her mind, she imagined an another timeline with him. Meeting him in a peaceful way but he left her so soon on that timeline. His fate was bounded with death. He could never escape death. 

The young soldier stared at the sky. It is so peaceful, and it made her feel so envious of it. When will the time wherein her life is peaceful as the horizon. She wondered when will the perfect time for them. But for now, she swore to her name that she'll bring him back. 

Even it will cost her own life.

When she managed to drag him again in her arms, she didn't notice her own death flag. She's too caught up from pondering about his possible demise before her without noticing that her time is finally over. 

Life is unfair so as she. The blood starts to seeped through her white dress shirt, and she noticed it after they fell upon removing him from the monstrous form he had created. A sharp debris was impaled through her abdomen. 

“See you later,” she whispered brokenly when she finally saw a last glimpse of his smoldering green eyes. Her breath was ragged and heavy. 

He's staring at her in disbelief. His eyes trailed at her bloodied lips before rerouting at her fading grey eyes. Is this the boy she protected at all cost? Is this really him who did save her back then? Did he really.. hate her? Or, what? Did he finally came back after this? Only time could tell but— unfortunately, her time is up. She'll be going first.

“May—” Maybe, we'll meet again, she tried to voice out but it was cut short when the grim reaper arrived to deliver her soul somewhere far from the chaotic reality she had. The stars in her eyes finally combust, and turns into ashes. 

Maybe. In another life they are not broken as they are in this timeline. Maybe in another universe, they are not bound with tragedy. 

Maybe they can meet again. Or, maybe not.

**Author's Note:**

> i rlly luv them!! i felt sorry for hurting my mikasa hehehe im sorry please tell me if i should stop or continue writing hahahahaha i am baby to this kind of field sorry guys huhu still kinda uncomfortable but i tried hehe i dunno how to use tag wth well tell me your thoughts about this thank youuuu!!


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